Hex

[london_spy]

(from here)

Looking over at the sound of Hex's voice, Danny sighed, getting onto the train anyway. The car was empty, something that would usually be a rare treat, but now only made it impossible for Danny to hide from the other man.

Comments

[london_spy]

"Depends what you want to do," Danny replied with a faint smile. "Where do you feel like going?"

[just_hex]

"Cinema?" he suggested. "There's a few new films out. Or we could go shopping since I left me shopping on the train. I could get some food and cook for you and I'd bought you some posh cigarettes...sorry I left them. I don't know...did you have any plans for the day?"

[london_spy]

"You don't have to buy me stuff Hex," Danny replied with a soft smile. "I have a doctors appointment, actually. Just a check up and some blood work, shouldn't take long."

[just_hex]

"Would you like some support for that? Checking your T cells, yeah?" Hex offered.

[london_spy]

"You don't have to. I mean, you're welcome to come, but I know waiting around is tedious. I can call you after if you'd rather," Danny offered.

[just_hex]

"I'd rather come with you," he said decisively. "And then we can do lunch and see what else the day brings, yeah? I just want to be with you today."

[london_spy]

"Alright, if you're sure... I need to go get dressed and head out soon. I was going to take a shower, but- Well, I guess I'm having another kettle bath," Danny replied with an awkward laugh and a sigh.

[just_hex]

"If you're fast it's not so bad," he shrugged. "Maybe a cold shower's just what I needed anyway. I'm going to get dressed while you do that."

[london_spy]

Danny nodded, and about half an hour later he was clean, dressed, and ready to go.

"So that bloke last night... Is he more your type?" he asked as they made their way outside and Danny lit a smoke.

[just_hex]

"No, actually. Not at all," he said. "I don't even know why I pulled him. He flirted with me, I flirted back...but, no. He's not me type at all, actually. You ae. You are, to a T. I definitely have a type."

Fin, Q, Danny...they were all remarkably similar in appearance and build. Spencer, too. Hex was drawn to slender men, dark hair, beautiful eyes. When he got to know people he had other preferences- a good heart, a sense of humour- but on sight alone? Danny was spot on.

[london_spy]

"You like blokes who are smaller than you then? I mean, because of the other things you like, right? Easier to be in control?" Danny asked, genuinely interested as he took his first drag.

[just_hex]

"Not even that. I'm just attracted to smaller blokes. I like...I like fine bones. I like pale skin. I like to feel your ribs under me hand. I like slender wrists and long, thin legs. It has nothing to do with being easy to control and everything to do with what I like to look at and touch," he replied. This was as honest as last night, but this was genuine, words he was willing to say aloud.

[london_spy]

"And you always knew you were gay?" Danny asked.

[just_hex]

"I tried to be straight back in school, but I always knew, I think. I've always been attracted to men. I think it's probably part of why I was such a thug. Trying to squash that, and trying to do anything me nan might like. I wasn't comfortable with meself until I got out of Liverpool. And I didn't come out until I got back from Afghanistan. What about you? Did you always know?" he asked.

[london_spy]

"I did, I think," Danny nodded. "I've been gay as long as I can remember. Out since before I ran off and left school even. Part of the reason I vanished, I suppose. ...Parents weren't keen on me in the first place, liked me less once they figured out I was queer."

[just_hex]

"Before she died me nan made sure I knew I was going to hell. She washed her hands of me. Being gay was the last straw," he said softly. "Not that I ever had a good relationship with her. I don't know why she didn't just turn me over to care when me mum left me with her."

[london_spy]

"Sounds like a piece of work. ...You did alright though. I mean, look at you. You're a nurse, and you're a star. She didn't know shit, clearly," Danny said, shaking his head.

[just_hex]

Clearly. But it didn't feel like that. Even now, he could hear her nagging and scolding and berating him in the quiet dark.

"Yeah," he said, smiling weakly. "It's all worked out pretty well for me, hasn't it?"

[london_spy]

Danny's own smile faded when he saw Hex's, and he hesitated a beat before hooking his arm through the nurse's.

"It has. You've done amazing for yourself- And you seem to have a lot of people in your life who care about and love you. ...It's shit, yeah? Shit that she couldn't love you as you are, but family isn't all we build it up to be. Our real families are the ones we build for ourselves."

[just_hex]

"I've built a good family. One day I'd like you to meet Fin, Danny. He's me best mate...I love him like a brother. Or what I imagine it would be like to have a brother, yeah?" he chuckled, this time actually more happy. It was easy to be happy thinking of Fin. Miles better than thinking of his childhood.

[london_spy]

"I'd like that a lot," Danny assured him, his smile growing brighter again. "Though- I dunno. Part of me still thinks I'm mad even talking to you. They've already hurt you once- They could come at you again. Hurt you, hurt your friends..."

Guilt hit him hard, and Danny looked uneasy. "You could have really hurt someone last night."

[just_hex]

"I'm so sorry, Danny. I'd like to say I'd never...and I never would...but I wasn't right in me head," he said. "I'm still not scared of them, though. I'll stand up to them until I take me last breath. No matter what they do."

[london_spy]

"I know- I know you weren't," Danny assured him quietly. "You were scary though," he admitted.

[just_hex]

"I can't say I'm sorry enough times for you to know how sorry I am. The last thing I ever want is for you, or anyone, to be afraid of me," he said.

[london_spy]

"It was just intense, that's all- I'm not scared of you, I promise," Danny replied, shaking his head.