Hex

[london_spy]

(from here)

Looking over at the sound of Hex's voice, Danny sighed, getting onto the train anyway. The car was empty, something that would usually be a rare treat, but now only made it impossible for Danny to hide from the other man.

Comments

[london_spy]

"You like blokes who are smaller than you then? I mean, because of the other things you like, right? Easier to be in control?" Danny asked, genuinely interested as he took his first drag.

[just_hex]

"Not even that. I'm just attracted to smaller blokes. I like...I like fine bones. I like pale skin. I like to feel your ribs under me hand. I like slender wrists and long, thin legs. It has nothing to do with being easy to control and everything to do with what I like to look at and touch," he replied. This was as honest as last night, but this was genuine, words he was willing to say aloud.

[london_spy]

"And you always knew you were gay?" Danny asked.

[just_hex]

"I tried to be straight back in school, but I always knew, I think. I've always been attracted to men. I think it's probably part of why I was such a thug. Trying to squash that, and trying to do anything me nan might like. I wasn't comfortable with meself until I got out of Liverpool. And I didn't come out until I got back from Afghanistan. What about you? Did you always know?" he asked.

[london_spy]

"I did, I think," Danny nodded. "I've been gay as long as I can remember. Out since before I ran off and left school even. Part of the reason I vanished, I suppose. ...Parents weren't keen on me in the first place, liked me less once they figured out I was queer."

[just_hex]

"Before she died me nan made sure I knew I was going to hell. She washed her hands of me. Being gay was the last straw," he said softly. "Not that I ever had a good relationship with her. I don't know why she didn't just turn me over to care when me mum left me with her."

[london_spy]

"Sounds like a piece of work. ...You did alright though. I mean, look at you. You're a nurse, and you're a star. She didn't know shit, clearly," Danny said, shaking his head.

[just_hex]

Clearly. But it didn't feel like that. Even now, he could hear her nagging and scolding and berating him in the quiet dark.

"Yeah," he said, smiling weakly. "It's all worked out pretty well for me, hasn't it?"

[london_spy]

Danny's own smile faded when he saw Hex's, and he hesitated a beat before hooking his arm through the nurse's.

"It has. You've done amazing for yourself- And you seem to have a lot of people in your life who care about and love you. ...It's shit, yeah? Shit that she couldn't love you as you are, but family isn't all we build it up to be. Our real families are the ones we build for ourselves."

[just_hex]

"I've built a good family. One day I'd like you to meet Fin, Danny. He's me best mate...I love him like a brother. Or what I imagine it would be like to have a brother, yeah?" he chuckled, this time actually more happy. It was easy to be happy thinking of Fin. Miles better than thinking of his childhood.

[london_spy]

"I'd like that a lot," Danny assured him, his smile growing brighter again. "Though- I dunno. Part of me still thinks I'm mad even talking to you. They've already hurt you once- They could come at you again. Hurt you, hurt your friends..."

Guilt hit him hard, and Danny looked uneasy. "You could have really hurt someone last night."

[just_hex]

"I'm so sorry, Danny. I'd like to say I'd never...and I never would...but I wasn't right in me head," he said. "I'm still not scared of them, though. I'll stand up to them until I take me last breath. No matter what they do."

[london_spy]

"I know- I know you weren't," Danny assured him quietly. "You were scary though," he admitted.

[just_hex]

"I can't say I'm sorry enough times for you to know how sorry I am. The last thing I ever want is for you, or anyone, to be afraid of me," he said.

[london_spy]

"It was just intense, that's all- I'm not scared of you, I promise," Danny replied, shaking his head.

[just_hex]

"At least I didn't ruin everything," he said and then sighed with relief. "Can I kiss you, Danny? Would you kiss me back?"

[london_spy]

Danny had been walking, but he came to a stop at that, stubbing out his cigarette and then pulling Hex down for a firm and demanding kiss. Danny was smaller, sure, but when he wanted something he was very aggressive- And when he liked someone, he wasn't shy.

[just_hex]

It was a kiss forceful enough to make him catch his breath. Hex slipped his arms around Danny and everything wrong fell into place and became right.

"I love you," he whispered against Danny's lips. Last night the words had almost been a threat but now, in the light of day they were only the tenderness confession.

[london_spy]

"You hardly know me," Danny scolded gently. "I'm all for love at first sight, but- Come on. Come off it. Love me? Maybe you love my kiss, love my body, but me? That's a nut you've hardly begun to crack, Hex."

[just_hex]

"Give me time, then," he smiled. "Let me really know you. But I doubt I'll change me tune."

[london_spy]

"You've got as much time as the universe is giving me," Danny assured him.

It didn't take long to get to the doctors, but the wait was painfully long and by the time they finally got back out it was mid afternoon.

"That place is such a joke," he huffed, "What good's the NHS if I can't see a bloody doctor?" he muttered, lighting another cigarette, then sighing. "I'm sorry I wasted most of your day off."

[just_hex]

"It wasn't a water at all. We had good conversation, a few good laughs. Don't let it get you down. Let's go get something to eat. Something healthy, at least. And then we can go back to mine or yours. I should really do me home workout," he said, arm in arm as they walked out.

[london_spy]

"You inviting me over to watch you work out?" Danny asked with a laugh. "Wish I could say that was the strangest thing a man's invited me over to see."

[just_hex]

Hex chuckled, "I didn't mean it like that. I just need to do it. It can wait," he said. "Just thinking out loud. Of course you can. If you want."

[london_spy]

"Why don't we go back to yours and just hang out?" Danny suggested.