House

[london_spy]

Danny had spent part of the morning with John, then most of his day in class. When he finally got out the first thing he did was text Greg. He'd reached out to him the night before, but the other man had sounded stressed and busy. Danny hadn't wanted to pester him. They'd been through a lot in that place, and Danny knew Greg had to be worried about James.

Just got out of class. You free tonight? I'd like to see you.

He paused a beat, then sent another text.

I've missed you.

Comments

[london_spy]

"My phone was busted, that's why I called so late in the day," Danny explained, moving to sit beside him.

[drfeelbad]

"Yeah, uh, sorry I couldn't just drop..." House's voice trailed off. "You said you were okay. Were you okay?"

[london_spy]

"Yeah," Danny said softly. "I, uh, I ran into my mate John. He was in that place too," he explained. "We ate pizza and fell asleep- I wasn't on my own or whatever, I was okay."

He paused a beat, wetting his lips with a quick flick of his tongue. "...Is James alright?" he asked, well aware that's what had kept Greg home.

[drfeelbad]

House waited a moment, and then shook his head. "He's not good."

It wasn't even just the physical symptoms, though the muscle weakness had gotten worse. He was just starting to have trouble with his bowels and bladder, and that was what really set things off. James didn't want House to help him, and when he felt helpless and embarrassed he could get antagonistic... Though House was also starting to wonder if the mood swings were also a symptom.

[london_spy]

"Maybe... Maybe he should be in hospital," Danny suggested quietly, well aware that wasn't something House likely wanted to hear.

[drfeelbad]

"Yeah," House said, looking down. "Tried that. That would be one of two things we fought about today."

[london_spy]

Danny couldn't really imagine how hard it must be, and he was silent as he nodded.

"I'm sorry," he said softly. "I wish I could help. I wish I could- I dunno, do anything at all to make this not so hard."

[drfeelbad]

"This isn't fair to you either," House said, sounding frustrated. "And it's fucking weird. And selfishly I would love to just be with you and forget all about it for a minute, and... that's the ironic thing, that's what he wants, too. I just feel like a total ass on all sides."

[london_spy]

"Greg I- I don't think this is easy for anyone. Me, you, certainly not him. I think..."

Danny trailed off, giving himself a moment to organize his thoughts before speaking.

"I think all any of us can do right now is carry on as best we can," he said finally. "It's not perfect, but nothing's perfect. Life, and love- It's messy, and it's brutal, but it's worth it, I think. If it wasn't no one would bother with it."

[drfeelbad]

"I still can't believe you like me enough to be putting up with this," House mumbled.

[london_spy]

"What we have is nice," Danny said honestly. "Nice enough that I'm more than willing to navigate the harder aspects. I don't know if what we have is forever, but I know that I'm happy with you. That I miss you when you're gone. ...I can't say how I'll feel a year from now or two years, but right now I'm happy. Right now you're- You're what I want."

[drfeelbad]

House looked away from him. "The closer I get to you the more this tears me up," he said quietly.

[london_spy]

"I don't want to be what gets between you and him," Danny replied. "Please, I- I don't want that, Greg. I couldn't deal with that guilt."

[drfeelbad]

"It's not that," House said, forcing himself to look back at him. "You won't get between us, if anything he's pushing me to you... this is all just me. My own guilt, even if it might not be justified."

[london_spy]

Danny was quiet for a long moment, then wet his lips.

"I don't know what to say, how to help," he confessed softly.

[drfeelbad]

House shook his head. "It's not on you. And I'm sorry, I'm not going to be much fun tonight."

[london_spy]

"You don't always have to be fun, Greg," Danny said gently.

[drfeelbad]

House sighed. "I already think you should go find someone else, Danny."

[london_spy]

"I have met someone, someone I spent a night with, but- I'm invested in this. In you," Danny said honestly.

[drfeelbad]

House felt a sting of jealousy that he then shoved away hard.

"Must not have been a very good night," he joked, because he couldn't handle a real response.

[london_spy]

"No, I just really... I love you," Danny said quietly, looking embarrassed and sighing.

[drfeelbad]

Surprise flicked across House's face. "Danny... you don't. You can't." He did not deserve that, not with how things were now.

[london_spy]

"I don't expect you to feel the same," Danny said quickly.

[drfeelbad]

"It's not that I... " House's voice trailed off. "But I don't deserve that from you. There's no reason you should love me."

[london_spy]

"I don't think love and reason go hand in hand. Love's mad, Greg. If it wasn't, you wouldn't be fawning over a dead man," Danny said softly, his words blunt but tone gentle.