John - Post Asylum

[london_spy]

He'd woken up in his own bed. Alone. Safe. Normal. Danny didn't understand why or what that meant. His first instinct was to call Greg, but his phone wasn't working at all. the screen was shattered and when he plugged it in there was no sign of life.

He supposed he'd have to go get a new one.

Coffee in hand he found himself just walking, past the hospital where Greg should be checking in for his shift, past the flat Hex shared with Flynn and the others, then past the hotel where John had been staying. He could have gone into any off those places, but he just wasn't brave enough to see who was there and who remembered him.

He stared at John's hotel a beat longer, then began to walk again.

Comments

[london_spy]

"I'm sorry," Danny said quietly. "I do want you. I like you a lot- I just have a lot on my mind. ...Including Greg," he added softly. "I should have called him, I don't know why I didn't."

Or, well, no- He knew why. He was scared. Scared the other man still didn't remember.

[petty_dabbler]

John wondered, not for the first time, why he couldn't just be an asshole and get fucked. But no, he had to have some sort of morals that left him frustrated more than he liked to admit.

He took a breath and then kissed Danny's lips sweetly.

"Call him, Danny. I'll step out, have a nice slow smoke. Alright?"

[london_spy]

"You don't mind?" Danny asked, looking surprised and unsure.

[petty_dabbler]

"Call him, Danny," John insisted. He offered a kind smile, wondering for a moment if he could get away with a quick wank off Danny's front steps. Kinky, not realistic.

John got up and fixed his clothes.

"I'll be outside. And then we'll talk."

[london_spy]

Danny waited until John was gone, then picked up his phone and dialed. It felt like the voicemail was going to pick up, but at the last moment Greg answered. The conversation was brief, Greg seemed upset- Or maybe just worn out. Either way, Danny received a promise that they'd speak soon before the call was over.

He sat alone on the bed for a long moment, before finally heading out to sit with John outside.

"He's okay," he said softly. "Busy, but- He's okay."

[petty_dabbler]

"Good to know," John said, two drags in to his third cigarette. "You feel better now that you talked to him?"

[london_spy]

"No," Danny admitted with an awkward laugh. "John I- You should know, up front, that I'm a mess," he confessed quietly. "I'm wrapped up in all sorts of terrifying shit, and I'm not- I dunno. I'm not some strong sensible bloke. I've got lines round my eyes that say I've lived a few years now, but I'm just- I'm young, and I'm stupid, and I don't know if that's something you want in your life."

[petty_dabbler]

John took another drag, thought a moment, then said,

"Danny, I don't mean to be a twat, but I'm not looking to get married. And with that out of the way, I don't have a single mate who isn't a hot mess in one way or another."

[london_spy]

"Okay. ...Alright," he replied, wrapping his arms around himself and looking off into the distance before reaching over to take John's cigarette and have a long drag himself.

[petty_dabbler]

"I'm also not stupid," he said, taking out another and lighting it so Danny could keep that one. "You feel like you're cheating n your boyfriend. Don't you?"

He could only assume that, since Danny's reaction to 'fuck me' was to worry about the good doctor.

[london_spy]

"He's with his other boyfriend tonight," Danny replied. "He didn't say that, but- He sounded stressed, so I'm guessing he's not well. Which is- It's fine, I don't care, and I don't feel guilty, but I- I love Greg. I just wish he loved me, you know?"

[petty_dabbler]

"Ouch," he exhaled softly.

"Yeah...it's a bitch when they don't love you back," he said with a note of real and painful understanding.

[london_spy]

"And there's- There's the fact that I'm positive. Every hook up is a worry. Especially when you want me to top, you know? It's not that I don't enjoy doing it, I do, but I also know the risk of infection is higher that way," Danny said quietly. "It's just a lot of things that all build up. ...For what it's worth though, I do like you. You're interesting, and kind, and handsome..."

He trailed off, passing the cigarette back.

[petty_dabbler]

"Its alright, Danny. I get it. No hard feelings," he said, reaching out to lay a hand on his shoulder. "You're brilliant, and I like you. A lot. Maybe if the world was a different place...but it's not."

[london_spy]

"Do you still want to stay over tonight?" he offered quietly.

[petty_dabbler]

He flicked away the butt and flashed Danny a sweet, tired smile. He looked at him and he just knew. He just knew he was going to get this man killed if he didn't walk away.

"I did bring my toothbrush," he replied instead.

[london_spy]

Danny smiled at that and got back up on his feet, offering John his hand.

[petty_dabbler]

John followed him back in, laying his coat aside after fishing a toothbrush out of his pocket. He held it up and picked the hair and flecks of tobacco off of it.

"Nice night. Didn't really need my coat, I guess," he said, mostly talking to himself and he got himself sorted.

[london_spy]

Danny pulled a face, then laughed.

"I have a spare toothbrush if you want a new one," he offered.

[petty_dabbler]

"Are you judging my toothbrush?" he asked in mock offense. "Actually, yeah. If you have a spare, might be a good idea."

[london_spy]

"Scottie always had a drawer with them in," Danny smiled, leading the way to the bathroom and sorting one out.

"Help yourself to whatever you need," he added. "Anything, okay?"

[petty_dabbler]

"I'll just get the pepperoni out of my teeth," he promised.

And maybe have a quick wank, he thought. Then realized even he wasn't that low class.

Teeth brushed face washed, John walked back out in just his pants. Every tattoo, ever scar on display.

[london_spy]

Danny went and washed up next, then settled into bed. He couldn't help but admire John, taking in every tattoo, every mark.

[petty_dabbler]

While Danny got ready, John turned down the covers and fluffed the pillows, but then sat on the edge. He looked up when Danny emerged.

"I wasn't sure what side of the bed you like," he said.

[london_spy]

"I'm not fussy, but I usually sleep on the right," he smiled, moving to climb onto the bed.